Fall 2004 Penn Band Halftime Shows
Penn at San Diego September 18th, 2004
Penn vs Villanova September 25th, 2004
Hello everyone and welcome back to a
new year at Penn. Congratulations to the Freshman class for being the smartest
and most well rounded class ever at Penn. You know what that means, seniors...
Form:
Play: Think
Much is new at Penn this year. For starters, please note the brand new field we
have here. The old field is historic, in that the last major event held on it
was a Commencement speech by Bono. And speaking of commencement speakers, is it
too late to make fun of Nova’s choice last year? Nah!
Form: ABC
Play: Sesame Street
Penn has also taken a tip from Reality TV, and has done an Extreme Makeover on
Harrison College House by painting it … purple! The University's goal to make
one more High Rise look better actually just made a different High Rise look
much, much worse. Nice job, guys – real smooth.
Form:
Play: Smooth
So that's everything new at Penn. Every...single...thing. Did we forget
anything? If you think of something we forgot, then come to Annenberg 511 at 6PM
Monday night and let us know.
The Band can't wait to hear from you.
Now please rise for the Red and the Blue.
Oh, and there's a new president. (said fast before we start playing)
Form: 2008
Play: R&B
Penn vs Dartmouth October 2nd, 2004
This is the true story of 4200
strangers picked to live in the freezing cold wasteland in New Hampshire and
have their lives taped. Find out what happens when people stop being polite and
mad scientists implant the granite of New Hampshire in their brains. The Real
World: Dartmouth
And now, it’s time to meet the housemates.
First up is Stephanie, a rich daddy’s girl from New York.
Second is Lindsay, a rich daddy’s girl from Connecticut.
Next is Thomas, a rich boy who likes skiing…
Okay maybe this was a mistake. This is too boring even for MTV. Someone get me
out of here.
Form: SOS
Play: Rescue Me
Much more exciting would be to move the whole shebang down a state or two to the
Prime Real Estate of West Philadelphia. I know what you’re thinking
- there already is a Real World Philadelphia. Well, we all know that the seven
hot and tarted up singles living rent-free in a pimped out loft is anything but
the Real Philadelphia. You want quality TV? Let them rough it on the basement
floor of Speakman…
Form: a heart
Play: Touch Me
On "The Celebrity Apprentice," famous contestants compete to be the next
commercial spokesperson for Wharton alum Donald Trump's real estate empire.
In last week's episode, Kathy Griffin, Wendy the Snapple Lady, and Jeopardy
champion Ken Jennings worked together on an ad campaign for Trump's new
drive-thru Hookah bar. During the project, Ken Jennings insisted on always
responding to his teammates in the form of a question-- and this fatal
communication mistake cost him dearly. Hey Ken, Trump told you this in the
Boardroom. What is: you're fired!
Form: cents sign
Play: Big Spender
Please rise for the Red and the Blue.
Form: UP
Play: R & B
Penn vs Bucknell October 9th, 2004
As the Penn Band got ready for our trip
to Lewisburg we figured we'd try and find out a little something about
Bucknell. 100 Penn students
were surveyed asking what they knew about Bucknell. Some responses stood out: Ew,
Bucknell, I got a bad case of that Freshman year...I had to miss a
week of school. That dude Bucknell is cool. I think he's pledging our frat. One
woman even slapped us for using such language...
Form: ? (a boxxy question mark, no curves)
Play: Family Fued?
So it seemed we didn't have a clue about Bucknell. Under more vigorous research,
we stumbled upon an article in the Bucknellian. We still
don't know about the university itself, but we know a lot of craaaazy things to
do. We can gaze at the stars, walk a dog, or even float our
fanny down the sasquehanny. Chris North, Class of '07, said it best: "Being able
to go to college in my hometown is the best thing Bucknell
has to offer." You know what Chris, we agree.
Form: something
Play: Born to be Wild?, Simply the Best?, Hip to be Square?
While trying to find what sets you apart from other schools, we realized that
you're not that different from us. For instance, our
founder discovered electricity, your campus...uses...electricity. We created the
first computer, you use computers...probably. We built a
solar car, you guys just got new horses for the carriages.
Form: something
Play: Back to the Future
Think of a couplet...
Form: R + B
Play: R&B
Penn vs Columbia October 16th, 2004
Hello and Welcome Alumni Back to
Franklin Field for another fun filled Homecoming Game.
Much has changed since you were last on campus. Harrison House (you knew it as
High Rise South) is now purple...like that annoying dinosaur – what’s next?
Teletubby East?
There is a new Learning Resource Center where you used to eat breakfast at
Stouffer Dining. All food has been removed from under the chairs.
And, if you look to your left, you'll see a cool new exploding scoreboard at the
West end of Franklin Field. Welcome to the New Millenium.
But wait....there's more! Yesterday, in Irvine Auditorium, Dr. Amy Gutmann was
inaugurated as the EIGHTH president of this fine University. Now she can
commence the paradigm shift that will allow for total quality management to
occur. New ideas and skills must be extracted from the resources in and about
campus and soon we will all be acting in synergy to lead this institution to new
heights. The Band would like to start by assisting Dr. Gutmann in thinking out
of the box.
And look under your seats – just like on Oprah, everyone here gets a FREE CAR!
Form: a box
Play: Vehicle
Penn vs Yale October 23rd, 2004
As the Presidential Campaign gets into
full swing, it has us in the Penn Band thinking....Most of the prominent
presidents in history have had a
nickname:
Honest Abe
JFK
Tricky Dick
The Gipper
Stud Muffin (wait, I am not so sure if Clinton's nickname was public)
Well....we're pretty much a one-issue voter when it comes to elections, and
we're not too sure how either candidate stands on Scramble Band funding (we're
pretty sure the Yale Band stands a chance to benefit with a Yalie president),
but we know which president has the nickname that is easiest to spell.
BAND FORMS: W
BAND PLAYS: Hail to the Chief
Over the past three months, the entire nation has seen the Yale Debate Team in
action. Polls seemed mixed on which candidate won each debate, but we're pretty
sure the Penn Debate Council could take either one of them. One issue that did
not get much exposure is mass transit. Since we in the Penn Band take the bus
just about wherever we go (man that ride to San Diego was long), we'd like to
hear what the candidates have to say. John Kerry's hometown has the Boston T
while, in Texas, mass transit is probably thee guys in an SUV.
BAND FORMS: T
BAND PLAYS: Free Ride
We watched the debates, we watched the analysis, we even went to On Demand cable
and watched the debates again. We know that the media have stated that the
debates did little to sway the undecided voters, and we will not even go there,
but we can say that we are comfortable grading the entire process. America, this
show is brought to you by the letter F.
BAND FORMS: F
BAND PLAYS: Sesame Street
Who should we choose? What should we do?
Does it really even matter? Please rise for the Red and the Blue
Penn vs Brown October 30, 2004
Tomorrow will be Halloween
The campus will surely be a scene
But your parents are here
So, put away your......juice
And be sure to keep your room clean
Band Forms: MOM
Band Plays: Addam's Family Theme
The Campaigns have been really crass
The candidates show little class
The ads are real mean
The debates, quite a scene
It's really a pain in the.......butt
Band Forms: BOO
Band Plays: Smooth
We don't know who we will pick
Election time sure makes us sick
The smears and the lies
The gals and the guys
At least we all know Carson's a... dork
Band Forms: WHO
Band Plays: Pinball Wizard
Parents, we will soon have a toast to you And then this game will be through.
To your sons and your daughters
Football has three quarters
Please rise for the Red & the Blue.
Band Forms: R&B
Band Plays: Red & Blue
Penn vs Princeton November 6th, 2004
As a college music assemble, we, the
Penn Band rarely takes positions on issues. Its just not in our character. Every
once in a while however, an issue comes along that so moves us, so shakes us to
our core, so aches to be commented upon, so a needle pulling thread, that it
would be a travesty if we shirked our duty as americans to makes things right.
And so it is with this in mind that we make our plea to all those that will hear
as we shout in one collective voice and say "Down with Pants!"
Band Plays : Darth Vader theme
Forms: down arrow
The history of pants is one of pure filth and depravity. Initially designed as
instuments of torture, they found there first use in victorian england where
they were filled with kittens and used to beat orphans about the face and torso.
From here it only went downhill. Discovered as convenient accouterments for ones
legs, the masses were soon held prisoner in these lower limb bastilles, unable
show there, uh, faces in what had become of society, lest they be looked down
upon, however briefly, for getting caugt with their panst down. It is a
situation we live in still to this day. While some have been able to free
themselves with the occasional skirt, or fool themselves with shorts and coolots
(sp?), the oppresion remains.
Band plays:Something else from scare tactics Band forms: circle with diagonal
slash
One shudders to think of all that pants have inflicted upon humanity, even in
our own lifetime: Pantaloons, MC Hammer's parachute pants, Dockers
Commercials... I can imagine that more than a few of us still wake up at night
in a cold sweat, fearful that zubaz will once again take the nation by storm.
And so we say, Free yourself from the belt they have cinched in upon all of us!
Drop their oppressive grasp on our collective waistline. There is a bright
future right over the horizon where all of us can live free and unencumbered,
all we need is a leg up on the brutality and we can kick pants to the curb.
Only then, when pants are truly faded, can mankind rise to the top.
Band plays:Olympic fanfare ( the bah duh daaaaaah one) Band forms: a sun
We've made our choice, we hope you will too, Now please drop and rise for the
red and the blue.
play : r & b
form: R+B
Penn vs Harvard November 13th, 2004
Penn vs Cornell November 20th, 2004
Every week, we, the Penn Band, spend hours laboring over a blank page, working our fingers to the bone to bring you a fantastic show, sure to astound and amaze. This... is not one of those weeks, as it was apparently decided that fan appreciation day doesn't extend to the band. And so instead, with the virually non-existent slice of time we've been given, we bring to you... the death-defying, mind-boggling, multi-purpose, subliminal message containing, ephedra free, psychadelic, automatic, hydromatic, systematic, completely spontaneous, unrehearsed, non-secular, never before heard by the ears of man DDYNAMIC HUMAN DIAL TONE.
Dooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
oooooooooooo(...buy more concessions..)ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Penn Band salutes Seniors, Plays R&B